You really coming over, don't trick.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
