DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
