Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
