Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
