you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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