shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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