Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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