wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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