well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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