and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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