How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
