we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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