You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
