Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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