my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
