He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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