This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
