I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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