Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do vagina's smell?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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