we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
