I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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