i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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