if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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