Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
