She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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