I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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