i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
