i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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