Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize