I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Rumble strips road head = magical
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My penis needs a shock collar
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
