I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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