Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
