Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize