connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
