Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
