Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
