just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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