i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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