I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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