Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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