Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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