Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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