NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Watching her eat just hurts me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
