You can't motorboat a personality
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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