Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
