She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
