left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize