He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
