There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
