now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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