im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is wine microwaveable?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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