we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
