i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
