what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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