Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
